One Bite
by Emilia Rachana Copper
Summary: Reader x Dean Winchester. Reader has an eating disorder and Dean wants to make it better. TW: Eating Disorder/suicide
1. Chapter 1

You sat there, staring at the screen of your laptop with a frown. The number was too high for your liking, even with all of the running around you did today. You heard the door to your room open and you slammed your laptop shut. Dean raised his eyebrow and you shrugged.

"We're going to get some food, wanna come?" He asked, leaning in the doorway to the cheap motel room.

"No, I'm fine." You forced a smile.

"Alright, whadya want?" He asked with a bit of suspicion.

"I'm not hungry." You said, your eyes flicking away for a brief second.

Dean gave you a highly suspicious look.

"If you get hungry, you know to call me." He said distantly.

You nodded. The door closed and you shut your eyes. The digital number flashed before your eyes: 796. You normally tried to keep your calorie count at 400 or lower. You would have to go for a run tonight. You grabbed a pen and lifted your shirt slightly, allowing the milky skin of your stomach and hip bones to become visible. Your normal punishment, to avoid the boys asking questions about scars, was to write the number on your waist as a reminder. You wrote the three digits and dropped the pen onto your bed. You had no idea how long Sam and Dean were going to be gone. You opened your laptop and left the tab. You supposed You could at least go for a run around the block for now. You changed into decent workout clothes and put your key card into your pocket. You stepped out of the motel and put your headphones in. Blaring ACDC and other music that made you want to run a mile, you took off down the street. You got a few odd glances, but you didn't let it bother you. You wished you had spotted the black impala sooner, because when it stopped a few feet back, it's passengers got out. You kept running and didn't notice the hunter behind you. When you felt two arms wrap around your waist, you went into instinct mode and elbowed the person in the gut. You whipped around, tore your headphones out of your ears, and prepped for a brawl. You didn't expect to see the older Winchester doubled over and the younger one staring at you both from a distance.

"Dean?" You asked.

"You finally noticed," he gasped and stood up.

"I thought you guys were going to get food." You said and wrapped your head phones up.

"We did, there was a place around the corner," Dean gestured in the general direction.

You looked back and swallowed.

"We weren't sure if you'd be hungry later, so we got you a burger." Sam said, coming up behind Dean.

"Thanks," You murmured.

"We're heading back, come on." Dean started towards the car.

Judging by his voice you didn't really have a say in the matter. You followed and sat in the back of the impala in silence. It wasn't far to get back to the motel. When Dean parked you hopped out and started towards your room, forgetting the food just to avoid confrontation.

"Hold on," Dean said and chased after you, holding the greasy paper bag.

He handed it to you and all you could do was stare at it.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked after a few seconds.

You thought he had walked away, so his sudden words made you jump.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You said.

"You don't have a fridge, do you?" He asked.

You shook your head no. He took the food back.

"Come over if you get hungry, and Sam's doing a research session in an hour if you want to come join." Dean was still confused by your behavior.

You smiled and went into your room. You never went to their room that night.

 **AN-**

 **I have a new story! I've been encouraged to continue writing again so I'm going to try and find the spark for my stories. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

~4 months later~

You had only a serving of saltine crackers, 60 calories, and you were on a hunt. You had a dangerously low count of calories in the past few days and you were beginning to feel dizzy. This was a simple hunt though, some low grade wendigo. You were outside with Dean while Sam was inside scouting. Everyone's phone was on silent. You heard your stomach growl and Dean must've too, because he gave you a glare. It was rule that everyone was supposed to eat before a hunt, so your stomach wouldn't make noise. You gave an apologetic look and continued looking for any movement. That was quite hard seeing as, to you, the whole world was spinning. You tried to get over it, but your body seemed to refuse. The last thing you remembered was the world going black and the sound of Dean shouting.

You woke up to beeping and pain in your arm. You blinked into the bright white light. This wasn't the forest. You rolled your head to look around the room. You were in a hospital. The monitor showed your heart rate and other weird things. You rolled your head the other way and noticed an I.V in your arm. Another unexpected thing you saw was Dean sleeping. He was sitting in a chair, but his arms were on the bed and his head rested on them. His fingers were loosely clasping yours. You pulled away from him and like a bullet, his eyes shot open and he looked at you. He blinked at you and smiled.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" He asked softly.

You gave him a confused look. "What about the wendigo?"

"Sammy took care of it."

"I feel sleepy,"

"That's not fair, you've been sleeping for a while." Dean laughed.

"How long was I out?" You said and sat up abruptly.

"Whoa, calm down, it was for a few hours."

"How long was I out, Dean?" You repeated.

"Almost thirty eight hours." Dean looked away.

"You could've just taken me to the motel and left me there!" You said desperately.

"No, I found your journal and saw the entry you made a while ago about not eating. I also saw the 'calorie count.' This isn't healthy, you need to eat." He told you.

You shook your head. "People like you don't want to hang around someone who's fat."

"People like me?"

"The attractive people, the people other people look at."

"People like me don't give a damn who I hang around, as long as their safe." Dean said.

You looked away and swallowed guiltily.

"You don't mean that." You said softly.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't have put you here if I didn't think that." Dean was getting upset.

You looked away and held back the tears. Dean dropped his head onto the bed.


	3. Chapter 3

A few moments later a nurse walked in. You gave her a shy smile.

"It's good to see you awake," she says. "I'm going to go get the doctor, don't move."

You gave a look to your I.V practically saying you weren't going anywhere. Later a doctor came in and the nurse trailed behind with a tray of food. You gave a small grimace.

"How're you doing?" The doctor asked.

You blinked at him slowly. "Fine," You managed to say.

You didn't dare spare a glance at Dean, knowing what he was thinking.

"That's good, my partner here has something for you." The doctor let the nurse pass in front of him and she set the tray down on a flip up desk/table thing.

"Now, I need you to clean that plate." The doctor said.

You didn't know why they kept talking to you like you were five. You nodded anyways and the doctor turned to Dean.

"Sir, if we could speak for a moment." The doctor said.

Dean gave you a long look before following the doctor into the hallway. You could only stare at the tray with a look of disdain. Dean came back into the room and you could tell he wanted you to look at him. You stared at the wall in front of you instead.

"The doc says if you eat this and dinner, you can go home tonight." Dean said.

You nodded and brought your attention back to the tray of food. There was all of the food groups in hospital uniformity: green beans, an apple, a cup of yogurt, some weird cream paste that you assumed was oatmeal, and a slice of Salisbury steak.

"You gotta eat," Dean was practically reading your mind.

You did want to go and sleep in a bed that wasn't stiff and smelled like disinfectant. You picked up the fork and started cutting the meat. You took bites, but hated yourself for it. You vowed that tomorrow you would hide from Dean to avoid the calories.

You got through the meal and the nurse took the tray away. Dean turned the TV on and started watching whatever baseball game was on. He knew you weren't going to talk about this, at least not at the hospital. Dinner came around and you ate that too.

The doctor came in, checked whatever needed to be checked. He looked at you and smiled.

"Everything seems in order, so you are free to go. Just don't let this happen again." He lightly scolded while pulling the tubes and wires away from you.

You nodded and when he left you looked down at the hospital gown.

"I don't have clothes." You said, still not looking Dean in the eye.

"Yeah you do," Dean stood up and dropped a backpack lightly on the bed.

You stared at it with mild disbelief.

"Everything should be in there, I'll be in the hallway." Dean said.

You watched him walk out of the room. He closed the door and leaned his back against the window so no one could see in. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and placed your feet on the cold linoleum. You shivered and stood up. You were a bit shaky, but then again you were immobile for the past day and a half. You opened the backpack and dressed. You didn't feel like combing out your hair so you swept it up into a ponytail and pulled a hoodie over your head. You knocked on the door and Dean opened it for you. He looked you over and gave a small smile.

"Ready?" He asked.

You nodded and you noticed something in his eyes: remorse. He felt bad about this. And it was all your fault. You looked away from him and stayed a few steps away while you walked. You kept your head to the ground until you got to the impala covered in rain drops. The sky was still stormy, so there was hope for rain. You opened the passenger door and slid into the car. Dean didn't get in yet, but you could see his torso was close enough to the car to know what he was doing. You looked down as he opened the door. You could feel him looking at you, but you only fiddled with the strings of your hoodie. You turned your head to look out the window. Dean started the car soon after, and you headed back to a motel.

You got in and apparently there weren't any vacant rooms. You dropped your head to avoid Dean's questioning eyes. You walked behind him back to the room and he opened the door. You slid in and when Sam saw you, he rushed up and hugged you tightly. You stood there stiffly until he let go.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked you.

You nodded your response, feeling tears well up in your eyes. You could feel Dean scrutinizing your back. You walked over to the couch and sat down with your legs curled under you after you took your boots off. You knew Sam and Dean were nonverbally communicating. You stared down at your socks and felt tears sliding down your face. Yon furiously wiped them away. Weight shifted at the cushion next to the one you were on and you looked up just enough to see Dean's stomach and lower half. You turned towards the back of the couch. You heard a sigh and the weight left.

There was whispering and you couldn't make out the words. Next the door closed and you heard the impala start up. You guessed they had left. Of course. Neither wanted to be around you. You continued to cry, but you didn't wipe the tears away this time. You soon fell into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

When you woke up it was pouring rain. You smiled at the sound and noticed the room was dark, save for a strip of moonlight from the window. You sat up and shifted off the couch quietly. You had no idea where the boys were. You opened the door and walked outside. You shut the door softly behind you and noticed the impala wasn't back.

You remembered where you crossed a bridge on the way back from the hospital. Your skin was hot, so the rain felt nice on it when you stepped out. You pulled your hair from the ponytail and walked to the bridge.

You didn't want to be around people who thought you were a flight risk. Neither of them cared, not really. You didn't know if you were crying or if it was just the rain. It was a long walk, but you eventually got to the bridge. Your hands grabbed the slick metal and you gazed down to the stormy water below. All you would have to do was drop. You could feel your body shaking now, whether from sadness or cold, you weren't sure. You didn't even hear footsteps when a voice spoke behind you and cracked.

"If you go over the edge, I follow." You whipped around to face Dean.

He was just as soaking wet as you were.

"How'd you find me?" You asked.

"I followed you. You closed the door right as I got out of the bathroom." He said, taking a timid step towards you.

"Go back to the motel, Dean." You said over a crash of thunder.

"No," he said after a moment of hesitation.

"You've never cared before, so why do you care now?" You said venomously.

"You're so stupid! Why the hell do you think I always went with you on hunts? Why do you think I stayed by you every god damned time you got hurt? You think I don't care?" Dean shouted at you.

You only blinked at him.

"I've always cared about you. Ever since that stupid moment we met!"

"You're lying!" You could hear your voice crack.

"I wouldn't, _couldn't_ , lie to you." He was walking closer now.

"Just go back to Sam, he's more important than me." You knew you were crying now.

"No one is more important than you. Not Sam, not Cas, not anyone. As I said, you take the plunge, I will join you."

"You have a future, Dean."

"And so do you!"

"You have a real one though! With a family! A wife, kids, hell maybe even grand kids!" You shouted. "Me? My future is counting numbers and making sure no one catches the scars!"

Dean faltered for a moment before he regained courage.

"My future is with one person, and that's you."

You stared at him.

"Dean . . . Don't say that."

"Why not? You're always on my ass for telling the truth. This is the truth."

You shook your head.

"No, Dean."

You didn't really have a choice about anything, because soon Dean had his arms around you, dragging you away from the edge of the bridge. You struggled against him, shouting, crying, and trying to get away. A large flash of lightning filled the sky and he saw the skin on your arms. Those were too neat for hunting cuts. He held you tighter and you stopped moving as he grabbed your wrist

"Why would you do this to yourself . . ." You heard him say.

You could only cry now. You were both soaked so when your head hit his chest, you didn't mind the wet. He held you tightly until you stopped crying.

"Please can we go back to the hotel?" He asked gently.

You stared at him through blurry eyes before you nodded and he grabbed your hand protectively. He gave your hand a light squeeze and you gave a half-hearted one back. He lead you back to the motel and you were going to open the door when Dean pulled you back to him. You looked up at him and saw his green eyes searching yours. His hand grabbed your chin and he lowered down a bit until he was half an inch away. You let out a shaky breath while he inhaled. He brought your lips together and they lingered on yours for a few seconds. You were crying again.


	5. Chapter 5

He pulled away and you walked into the room and stood dripping onto the carpet. You took off your shoes and set them on the mat near the door and Dean mimicked. You squished over to the bathroom and Dean followed. You gave him a suspicious look and he only gave you a gentle, but questioning one in return.

"Dean . . ." You mumbled.

"I'm not leaving you alone,"

"But I want to change, and take a shower."

"There are things in that bathroom I don't want you around unsupervised." So he knew you took his blades.

"I won't look, promise."

You sighed and he followed you into the bathroom. You peeled off your hoodie and set it in the sink. Dean started peeling layers too. When his shirt came off you blushed and looked away.

You were down to just your underwear and true to his word, Dean hadn't looked. You turned the shower on and glanced at Dean. He had pulled out a pair of his clothes that were dry. You stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed. You finished undressing and let the hot water run over you. You were silent until you heard Dean softly humming. You figured he was probably cold too. You had seen him more or less naked before. He had a tendency to only wear a towel when he got out of the shower. If he was super drunk, his grip would sometimes . . . Disappear, as would the towel from his hips.

You peaked out from behind the curtain to find Dean sitting with his eyes closed on the toilet, in super drunk attire.

"Dean," you said quietly.

He looked at the wall in front of him.

"Are you cold?"

You could see confusion written on his face.

"If you were, I could share the hot water."

Dean slowly looked at you, and you dropped your gaze.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

You bit your lip and nodded. He slowly, almost like a predator, approached the shower. He and you locked your gazes the second he stepped in.

"This actually feels really good." He smiled lightly.

You nodded. This totally wasn't awkward. You closed your eyes and was happy the hot water poured over you.

"Tilt your head back," Dean said softly.

You gave him a strange look, but complied. Barely. You tilted your head far enough back that the end of your hair was getting wet. Dean smiled and shook his head. His hands reached up and tilted your head back. He ran his fingers over your hair, getting it wet with the clean water. Your eyes fluttered shut at the contact, from his hands in your hair, to his arms resting lightly on your shoulders. When he pulled away you looked at him again. He was putting shampoo onto his hands. You looked at the wall. His hands came up again and they massaged the shampoo into your hair. This process of washing your hair continued until Dean was done. His hand had slid away from your hair and cupped your cheek instead.

"Dean," you said softly.

His green eyes went from watching a droplet roll down your face to your eyes.

"I already figure where this is going to go, and I'm not arguing, entirely, but is this what you want?" You stammered.

He gave you a weird look.

"I'm broken, Dean. If this is simply an act of heightened euphoria and adrenaline, then we shouldn't." You said and closed your eyes.

Dean didn't say anything, but when you opened your eyes he was staring at you.

"Basically you think this will be a one night stand." He said, sounding crestfallen.

"I don't want it to be." You looked at the wall again.

"Well, for proof I don't just want to get into your pants, we will wait, until you say you're okay."

Your eyes snapped to him. Dean Winchester, was denying sleeping with a girl at her most vulnerable moment.

He smiled and kissed your forehead. You felt your head nod and Dean reached behind you and turned the water off.

"You have to promise me though, you have to eat."

You nodded again. Loopholes.

"And none of the eat-once-a-day crap, no, I expect to see you eating as much as I do."

Okay, no loopholes. He planted a kiss on your lips.

"I want you safe." He announced.


End file.
